Saturday, April 4, 2015

That's What They Said: Well That Makes Sense

Amalia:  Let's not name this ant.  We don't know if he's a boy or a girl.


Baylor:  My skull is really hard!
Amalia:  My skull is harder than a trillion donuts!



Me:  Kids, while I am getting the ladybug out of the living room can you set the table, please?
Both: Sure!
Baylor:  (to Mollie)  Mollie, let's do the Uptown Funk You Up!  (singing)  Up-town funk you up!  Uptown funk you up!  (on repeat)
Amalia:  (singing)  Up, down, punky row!  Up, down, punky row!
Baylor:  Mollie!  That is NOT how it goes.  It is (enunciating) Up Town Funk You Up. (then continues singing as usual) Uptown funk you up!
Amalia:  Ohhh!  Up-town funky row!  Uptown funky row!
(and then later ...)
Amalia:  Up-down punky row!  Up down punky row!

Friday, March 6, 2015

That's What They Said: Mollie-isms and Misplaced Trust

Me:  (upon realizing my adorable daughter was going to wear a plain black turtleneck, a'la Dieter, to school the next day)  Mollie, why are you wearing that tomorrow?
Amalia:  Oh!  Well, I am going to have a baby tomorrow!
Me:  Ah, I see.  Well, that's exciting!  (still not understanding about the black turtleneck connection but choosing to let it go)
Amalia:  Yup, but it is not in my tummy.
Me:  (now really not seeing the connection)  No?
Amalia:  Nope.  It's in my baby's grandma's tummy.
Me:  (beyond confused)  It is?
Amalia:  Yup, my baby's grandma is going to run it through.
Me:  (stumped but amused)  Alright.


(After opening a birthday card from Toys R Us and finding a $3 coupon inside ...)
Amalia:  (excitedly)  I have GOT to scissor this out!



Me:  (whispering)  Baylor, we need to talk about what you want to get your sister for her birthday.
Baylor:  (whispering hesitantly)  Um, I don't ... wait, whose money am I spending?
Me:  (whispering)  Mine.
Baylor:  Oh!  Okay!
Me: (whispering)  Okay, so I will give you $20 to spend on a gift for her.  Do you have an idea of what you'd like to get for her?
Baylor: (whispering)  Yes, a _________.
Me:  (whispering)  Well, Baylor, Daddy and I are actually taking care of that.
Baylor:  (excitedly whispering)  You are?!  Tell me about it!
Me: (whispering)  Well, Baylor, can you keep it a surprise?  It is really important that you keep it a surprise because your sister LOVES birthday surprises.  I thought about involving her in it and she didn't want to because then it wouldn't be a surprise.  Can you keep it a surprise?
Baylor:  (whispering earnestly)  Yes, I can.  I will keep it a surprise.
Me: (whispering)  So this is what we're doing.  (whispers the basics about the gift)
Baylor:  (frantically whispering the instant I stopped talking)  Uh oh!  (clasps hands over mouth)  I can't keep it a surprise!  I can't keep it in!
Me:  (loudly and laughing at it all)  What?!  Baylor!  You said you could!  (instantly learned my lesson)  You've got to!
Baylor:  I can't!  It's gonna burst out of me!  (clasps hands over mouth again)
Me:  (whispering)  Baylor, you have to keep this a surprise!  Did you lie to me about it or did you just not realize how cool the idea would be?
Baylor:  (whispering)  I didn't know it would be so cool!  I can't keep this in!
Me:  (upon realizing Amalia was nearby)  Hi, Mollie!
Amalia:  What was all the laughing for?
Me:  Well, here's what happened.  (rehashed the story, leaving out the key details)  And now he doesn't think he can keep it a secret.
Amalia:  I don't want to know.  I like surprises!
Me:  I know.  Can you tell that to him?  I don't think he believes me.
Amalia:  Baylor, I really like birthday surprises, okay?!
Baylor:  (worriedly)  But I CAN'T keep it in!  I have to tell!!!  (clasps hands over mouth again)
Me:  Baylor, you can always talk to me about it.
Baylor:  No!  That won't help!
Me:  Okay, well you could always tell the Mr. Bears!
Baylor:  (looking at me like I should already know this ...)  They can't keep a secret!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Baylor's First Grade Concert!



Here it is, at long last ... the video of Baylor's first grade concert (the bulk of it, anyway).  To say I am proud of him in light of his performance (and mere participation) in the event is an unbelievable understatement.  When he came on, looked happy and confident, and started singing I started to cry.  Our little guy, who would not participate at all in his preschool graduation and never once danced along during music and movement time in kindergarten, has come such a long way.

Such a long way.

And didn't he look super dapper?!  I might have to try getting him to wear a tie every day.

Enjoy!

Friday, January 30, 2015

That's What They Said: So Grown Up

(While looking at the "At the Airport" page of her Sticker Dolly Dressing book ...)
Amalia:  Mommy, look.  Those are NOT pants.
Me:  Nope, they're not.
Amalia:  Nope, they are cartilage.
Me:  Cartilage?  (looking at the picture of a suitcase)  Oh, you mean it's "cargo" or "luggage"?
Amalia:  Yeah, luggage.


(While attempting to play Clue with Baylor ... and yes, they were playing all the pieces)
Amalia:  (in a very "adultish voice")  Baylor, may I make a suggest?



(While going over my schedule for the day ...)
Me: And then at 12:30 I meet with Tamara ...
Amalia:  Who is Tarrara?
Me:  Tamara is my coach.
Baylor:  Your coach for what?
Me:  Well, I have this thing called ADD, which stands for Attention Deficit Disorder.  It means I have trouble paying attention.
(The kids looked at me knowingly at this point.)
Amalia:  So what does she do?
Me:  Well, she's helping me learn to organize my time better so I can get more done and be a better mommy for the two of you.  (smiling)
Amalia:  (looking at me doubtfully)  Be a better mommy?!?  But there is no such thing!
(And my day was officially made.)



Oma:  (excitedly) Baylor, would you like to wear a tie to Steve and Katie's wedding?
Baylor:  (emphatically)  No, I would not.  If I wear a tie, people will swarm around me and ask for my autograph!



Amalia:  Mommy, what are taste bugs?

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

That's What They Said: Practicality and Things You Didn't Know

(While they were playing pretend in the backseat ...)
Baylor:  Okay, I'm Santa and here I go down the chimney!
Amalia:  And I am Mrs. Claus!  I will help with the presents!
Baylor:  Yeah, you tell me who gets which presents!
Amalia:  (smiling)  Sure.
Baylor:  Okay, who lives here?
Amalia:  There is one kid.
Baylor:  And what does he want?
Amalia:  She wants ...
Baylor:  She?
Amalia:  She wants ... either a Bobo teddy bear or a doctor kit.
Baylor:  Hmm, I think I will give her the Bobo teddy bear.  Anyone else?
Amalia:  Yes, there is a baby.  You can put stuff in it's stocking.
Baylor:  And what about for the mom and dad?
Amalia:  Hmm, the mom and dad will get ... frying pans.
Me:  Ha!
Amalia:  And underwear!


(While Amalia was playing in the backseat as we waited for her brother to get out of school ...)
Me:  Amalia, what are you doing back there?
Amalia:  Shhhhh, Mommy!  I am looking for ghosts.
Me:  (whispering)  Oh, okay.
Amalia:  I can almost taste one.
Me:  (instantly confused)  Taste one?
Amalia:  Yeah.
Me:  Okay.  And what does a ghost taste like?
Amalia:  (as if the answer was obvious)  Peas and corn.



Amalia:  Daddy?  Did you know every kiss begins with "K"?


(While we were driving to run some errands ...)
Baylor:  Wait, what day is it?
Me:  It's the third.
Baylor:  Oh no!  The Ford Sales Event ends on January 6th!
Bryson:  What?
Baylor:  You know?  Where you can buy a Ford Focus or a Ford Fusion?  I wanna do that.  I want to buy one of those.
Me:  Well, sweetie, those cost thousands and thousands of dollars.  You don't have that much.
Baylor:  (in a reassuring voice)  But they give you cash back!


(At dinner ...)
Amalia:  Uh oh.  There is milk on my seat.
Me:  Did you spit it out on there?
Amalia:  (slowly, much like a detective) I believe so.



(At dinner again ...)
Me:  Soooo, I locked myself out of the car today.
Bryson:  How'd you do that?
Me:  I'm not sure.
Bryson:  How'd you get back in?
Me: Ah, the amazing Oma.  (my mom)
Baylor:  Did she move as fast as sweet sassy molassey?!
Bryson:  (laughing)  Well how fast is that, buddy?
Baylor:  (after thinking for a moment)  About 50.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Auf Wiedersehen, First Loose Tooth!

Baylor has had a loose tooth for nearly a month now.  It all started when we noticed his teeth starting to shift rather dramatically.  He developed an odd space between his bottom right front tooth and the one to the right of it, a space that ended up being so large that it looked like he had lost a tooth already.  Then, one night while I was brushing his teeth, I noticed that a brand new tooth was already coming in ... behind the open space!  (Yes, the parent in me instantly shuttered at the thought of braces now looming in our future.)  We already knew that bottom right front tooth was a bit loose, but now it was REALLY loose.  Still, he nursed that thing for weeks, and I was constantly convinced that today was the day it would come out only to end up disappointed.

Yesterday, with his tooth so loose he could bend it forward at a 90 degree angle with ease, he bit his tongue really bad.  After I got him calmed down, I asked him for what seemed like the hundredth time if I could pull his tooth out for him, but this time he said yes!!  (He had said yes previously but had almost instantaneously retracted it after he thought about it a second longer.)  He was a bit apprehensive about it, so I offered to let him watch a Wild Kratts episode while I did it, and he was completely on board with the idea.  One of his cub scout buddies had told him a bit about the episode we were about to watch and he wanted me to wait for a particular part, so I snapped a before picture of him while I waited.



And then ...

video

(The little "ouch" you hear in the video is because I accidentally pinched his lip against one of his non-loose teeth.  Rookie mistake.)

Ta da!  Super loose tooth gone!


Afterward he commented that it didn't hurt at all and that when his next tooth gets loose and I ask him if I can pull it out, he will answer with an enthusiastic, "Yes!"

Surprisingly, he did not want to write a letter to the tooth fairy (he wants to write a letter to him/her because he has been informed that the tooth fairy will only write you a letter if you write one first) so he could put out his tooth and get a reward for it last night, so I guess he's planning on doing that today.  We'll see!

No matter what, I am so proud of him for getting over his fear of the possible pain and letting me get that tooth out of there.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Halloween 2014

This year our Halloween was quite eventful.  With two children in school at least part time now, there was a lot to balance and coordinate.  Luckily, this year the kids ended up having a half day on Halloween, and, as a result, Mollie's teacher moved their party back to Wednesday.  This change meant that I would be able to help out at both kids' parties, and we were all really happy about the coincidence.

My mom made Mollie a beautiful Cinderella costume, and Mom and Christine found the gloves when they were out shopping one day.




I know I am totally biased, but I think she made a perfectly lovely little princess.



I helped make the bustle in the back, and then did some troubleshooting when the bustle wouldn't stay fastened.


After we dropped Baylor off at school, Mollie and I hurried over to her school and we started celebrating.  She has thirteen kids in her class, seven girls and six boys.  Before we arrived, I guessed that five of the seven girls would be princesses, and I was right!  There was Mollie as Cinderella, a Sleeping Beauty, an Elsa, an Anna, and a Sophia the First.  The Anna costume was actually pretty impressive.  It had a button you could press that would play "For the First Time in Forever" and light up the skirt.  Their teacher even turned out the lights to demonstrate!


There were four stations for Mollie's party: snacks, decorating cupcakes, a witch's hat ring toss, and an arts and crafts table where they made some ghosts out of paper plates and streamers.  I was in charge of helping the kids with the arts and crafts, but Mollie still was able to check in with me every now and then.  Her cupcake was epic, but it sadly got smushed in the baggie they gave them for leftovers and she cried a bit when it didn't look nearly as awesome as it did before.


In between events, their teacher, dressed as Olaf from Frozen, would read them a story, which I think helped them calm down just a bit even with the copious amounts of sugar coursing through their little veins.




Mollie had a great time at her party, and even stayed after the party was done so she could hang out with the kids whose parents hadn't come to the party.  It was a fantastic first school party experience!

Baylor, on the other hand, was a bit upset that his sister had gotten to have her party and he still hadn't had his yet.  So he came up with a grand plan to have a Halloween party on Thursday the 30th at my parents' house and asked/informed my mom of his ideas.  Usually he gets shot down or the moment passes and he moves onto something else, but this time, THIS time, my mom said, "Sure!"

So we had an impromptu Halloween party the day before Halloween!  My mom went all out with the food, too.  There were mummy hot dogs, gnarly chicken fingers, ghostly mashed potatoes, and fish eyes (which were really peas).


The kids LOVED it!  (The adults did, too.)



She even made dirt dessert!  It was beyond delicious and very apropos!


The next day Baylor got to have his class party and on a half day, no less!  There was a parade all around the school, lots of treats, a beanbag toss game, and an alien creation arts and crafts table.  He had a lot of fun and made a bunch of adorable little aliens.  It did start to rain/snow during the party, but even that didn't really dampen the kids' spirits.  It was a great time!


The principal, dressed as Gru from Despicable Me, stopped by to join in the fun as well, leaving his minions (the office ladies) behind to "get their evil work done".  But before long it was time to go home and rest up for a chilly night of trick-or-treating ahead.


After dinner we piled on the layers under the kids' costumes and headed out into a very, very chilly evening.  Though it was quite windy, at least the slushy precipitation had long stopped and our time outside was dry.  Baylor requested that my dad come with us, so Bryson stayed behind to help hand out candy and enjoy the warmth inside.


We had a bit of a rocky start when a full-size collie charged at Mollie, and the owner did barely anything, insisting that the dog was just fine and that the kids basically get over it.  After that ordeal, Mollie wanted to know whenever there would be a dog.


We were out for an hour and came back as popsicles, but we had a lot of fun.  Baylor actually said, "Trick or Treat!" at nearly every house, and Mollie did a great job saying, "Thank you!" and holding up her dress like a little lady when going up and down the stairs.


Of course, once you collect your major haul, you have to assess and count your candy.


Mollie was disappointed with the massive amount of Twizzlers she got, but Oma and Aunt Christine helped her out and switched out the offending sweets with candy from our bin.


While the kids ate their three pieces of candy (our limit for the night) we all enjoyed a little Jeopardy. 


Try getting kids to go to sleep after they've had candy and loads of fun.  It's nearly impossible.  But that's what we did.

And then the next night, our PTC held a "boogie night" dance in the gym at Baylor's school.  I, being a part of the PTC, was going to chaperon, and since they asked for the chaperons to dress up, I had to find a costume that would be easy to throw together and also not upset Baylor, who typically doesn't like people to wear costumes.  Then I asked him if he would be okay with me being an historical figure that we could research and learn about, and he was totally on-board with the idea!  So, Rosie the Riveter I was!


You can do it, you know?!


The dance was a success, and I think a good majority of the kids had a great time.

Hope you had a happy, safe Halloween!

That's What They Said: Honesty and Misunderstanding

(Upon realizing Baylor's tooth was suddenly very loose ...)
Me:  Baylor, are you excited about your loose tooth?
Baylor:  Oh yeah!
Me:  Yeah?  Are you going to write a note to the tooth fairy when you lose your tooth?
Baylor:  Yes.  I am going to write to her and ask her for a Tootsie Roll and a dime.  (pauses)  But I'll bet you she just gives me the dime.  So I can go buy a Tootsie Roll.  Then I'd have both!



Me:  Baylor, have you started typing yet?
Baylor:  Oh yeah, I do typing at school!
Me:  I mean with your fingers in the right places.  You don't do that yet, do you?
Baylor:  Oh, no.
Me:  I didn't think so.  Your hands aren't big enough for that yet.  You'll probably do that in ... well, I did that in ... hmm, well that might not be indicative of when you'll start actual typing.  I don't think we had computers at our school until I was in fourth grade.
Baylor:  (staring at me in disbelief)  What?
Me:  We didn't have computers at our school until I was in about fourth grade.  They just weren't around much until then.
Baylor:  Did you have electricity?!
Me:  Yes, we had electricity.  Thanks.
Baylor:  (after thinking for a moment)  Was electricity discovered when you were born?
Me:  Yes, thanks, honey.



(While we were on our way to pick Baylor up from school ...)
Amalia:  Mommy, did you know that some people are in danger from wolves?
Me:  Did you say "wolves"?
Amalia:  Yes, wolves.
Me:  Well, I suppose.  What exactly do you mean?
Amalia:  Well, it depends on what kind of house you live in.  Wolves like to blow things down.  Good thing we live in a brick house!


(While they were playing in the basement ...)
Amalia:  (with the enthusiasm of an aerobics instructor)  Baylor!  Let's get our wiggles out, okay?!
Baylor:  Okay!



(While they were playing Spartanopoly ... yes, Spartanopoly ...)
Baylor:  (visibly upset) If Mollie wins, I will be covered in tears.  (still upset, but trying not to be)  Tears of joy.



(After putting the outriggers on his Raingutter Regatta boat ...)
Baylor:  Mom!  I learned how to screw ... with wood!

Friday, October 31, 2014

That's What They Said: Revelations

Amalia:  Mommy, I have a very thinkative question to ask you.
Me:  I cannot wait to hear this.  Go for it.
Amalia:  How do pigs get so stinky?



Amalia:  I am going to give you a round of a-clause!  (claps her hands in a circle)
Bryson:  (laughs)
Me:  (from the other room)  Did you catch that?
Bryson:  Mollie, what did you call that again?
Amalia:  That is a round of a-clause.  You can go like this (claps one direction in a circle) or like this (claps in the other direction).
Bryson:  Actually, it's a round of applause.
Amalia:  Applause or a-clause.  I say a-clause because it's creepier.




(While enjoying pouring over a how-to-plan-a-Halloween-party book ...)
Baylor:  Mommy, does anyone in our family like olives?
Me:  Yes, Daddy and Grandpa E like olives.  Some other people do, too.  Why?
Baylor:  Okay, then they can eat _______.
(Later on ...)
Baylor:  Who in our family likes wieners?
Me:  (stifling a laugh)  Um, Baylor, wieners are hot dogs.
Baylor:  (after thinking about that for a moment)  Oh!  So everyone does!




(Baylor reading to Amalia in the living room ...)
Baylor:  "Mercury is THREE TIMES closer to the Sun than Earth is."  Isn't that jaw-dropping, Mollie?!
Amalia:  Sure?

Friday, October 10, 2014

That's What They Said: Sweetness and Explanations

Amalia:  Mommy, you don't have to make me peanut butter and jelly anymore for a while.
Me:  No?
Amalia:  Yeah, I know it takes a long time to make it and cut the crust off and everything.  And I thought you might need a break.  (cheerfully)  Sooooo, I just won't have that for a while!
Me:  (stunned)  Aww, thank you, sweetie!  I'm happy to make that for you, though.



(As I was giving him his last kisses goodnight ...)
Baylor:  Mommy, do you know what the best part of me is?
Me:  No, what buddy?
Baylor:  The part of me that loves you.
(Then I turned into a puddle on the floor.)
Me:  Oh, sweetie, I love you, too!



(Amalia speculating on the way to school why two of her classmates went home together the other day ...)
Amalia:  Maybe their grandma is watching them so both of their moms can go get married.




Amalia:  Mommy, do you know what's funny about England people?
Me:  English people?  Like people from England?
Amalia:  Yeah, people from England.
Me:  What?
Amalia:  When they have two fish crackers in their hand and they say there is one.
Me:  What about it?
Amalia:  That's what's funny!